Que Sera

“This is about the self-mutilating circus we have painted ourselves clowns in.”- Pretty, Katie Makkai

On bad days
I wish I looked good.
Brush my hair
so it covers light-catching
sight-catching pinpricks on my skin,
so it falls over my
crease lined neck.

Drag nails over skin to
separate the without
from within.
Create judgement panels
in my head
and wonder if this is whynot.

On bad days
I skim the surface of superficiality
and struggle to stay afloat
of the depths of shallowness.

On bad days
I cannot say
“Does it matter?” when
told I’m pretty.

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