Join-the-dots

(Happy Birthday, Shriya aka my best friend.Thank you for the awesomeness you add to my life(which is,yes,sad and dull and grey without your sparkle in it).You are a maniac with an (admittedly)incredible sense of humour and the capacity to understand and I love you for it. Our friendship is one of those strange things that is just meant to be and I’m so glad I know you-always.
-Shree
P.S.This is a stand-in gift until I can find you something good.Hope you like it.)

For so long,
I couldn’t seem to throw
my old grievances out-
those cobwebs stretched dry
and old before my soul
several thousand eye-blinks ago.

but I chose to wait until they
seemed so emptily haunting
that
I could be sure that no one would
come back to claim them as
hope-
I chose to wait
because appearances are deceptive
but I let them define me.

but now my fingers move
on their own
to brush the glasses clean
of the dust that rains down
on my faltering lungs
-and I choose differently-
I move to fling
my mistakes open.

and a wind breezes
through the windows
intertwines with the branches of trees
to find its way into me,
to find its way out of me
in a breath of relief.

and clearing away the gossamer
cleared away my hesitation,
and clarity shows me where
my reasons
to leave the past behind lie
-in other times
staring out of this window-

and my memories
(4.
blue paint peeling away
to disfigure the white letters
scratched onto the board that’s
a shade darker than the colour
of a perfect sky in his daydreams)

finally fall back
(2.
watching
people huddled up
standing under bus stops
waiting for the rain to subside)

into rhythms
(5.
footsteps bumping up and down
on the asphalt
green and red shoes streaking
across dark grey)

of honesty
(6.
seeing pale reflections of
sunlight
in the dancing beams
of streetlights
falling over my seatbelt
in the night)

I no longer
(7.
that juncture
where it seems like today,
yesterday
and forever,
the juncture that somehow seems
empty of tomorrows)

seek
(3.
the hopefulness of
hovering fingers doubtful
of what they wish
to convey)

to evade
(1.
hearts beating in rhythm
with water dripping from
faulty faucets)-

and you will connect these
numbered dots
to paint yourself pictures
of your own memories
but my jigsaw puzzle
only he could ever put together-
he could always see through
the girl he left standing alone
by her window.

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