Have you ever had those really terrible days when a lot of things seem wrong and you feel this need to change them and so you do? They don’t necessarily have to be terrible-that depends on whether what you think feels wrong will seem the same way to you when the day’s gone by.
I had one of them recently.
I was reading through my blog and it temporarily fit perfectly into the position of thing-that-seems-wrong. And….I decided to delete it. I was sick of a lot of crap that day. I was in the midst of a mid-day crisis. I was on a severe-comparison-and-falling-short-of-expectations roll.
I have several excuses for my abrupt decision, but the most honest would be that I simply didn’t like my blog. Or its content. Or my writing. Or anything at all about the universe.
I also felt this crazy urge to start over.
Then I had a mini-conference with one of my best friends to decide whether my decision should be implemented (because we have this strange habit of discussing everything with each other and habits overpower impulsiveness anyday).
My friend gave me a (ahem) lecture disguised as a story, the point of which was basically to convey to me that I was crazy and not to delete my blog.
Thank you, human. You spoke sense into me(which is sorta astonishing considering the limited amount of sense we possess between the both of us), and averted my crazy idea.
I went in for a compromise-my rainy day (mental atmosphere, not physical surroundings) kicked me into a process of post/blog spring-cleaning.
I’m in the middle of it. But some of the posts I deleted were the ones on which I had some of my favorite comments- thank you for the likes, thank you for the comments. It felt pretty damn amazing to read and see them. I closed my eyes to them when I trashed those posts, cuz while I loved the response to ‘em, I didn’t like the writing itself.
I think I’ll be done in a while-a few posts left that have questions marked over them, because something in me shrinks away at the thought of erasing them but something else screams “THEY HAVE TO GO.” I’m indecisive as well as impulsive. Pretty bad combination sometimes.:)
On a side note, my blog hit its one year birthday a few weeks ago. Happy Birthday, Quills on Parchment!(I dislike exclamation marks but one just seemed necessary there).
And I’m sorry I almost killed you.
-A Witch With A Wand